Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sex Buffet


As some of you already know (those of you how are Facebook friends of mine), I've recently gained six pounds in ONE week. I didn't notice until I almost broke a hip trying to get into a pair of jeans. Let me just say, Drake was NOT lying when he said "it took a half an hour just to get that belt to fasten." Ordinarily, normal people would have just found a new pair to put on but once I got em over one hip, I knew it would take a bottle of baby oil, God and all of his angels to get them off before work. So, I went ahead and took the end of a brush and shoved the rest of my ass in my jeans, litterally. Once I got to work, it dawned on me. I eat whenever there is a... ummm.. "party in my pants" ... so, that's six pounds of horny in one week. My old faithful readers know that in some past blogs I took a vow to be celibate, regardless of my apparent addicition to the "diction". Here's the thing, I CAN do it... UNTIL... I "do it". Then all of a sudden I'm changing panties more than Lil Wayne changes "new" baby mommas. Welp, one week ago I smashed the chasitity belt... now I'm living life like a crack fiend. You can't do lines with a coke head and then think they won't inhale you out of house, home and powdered sugar. So, now I'm back on my BULL ISHT. I hope he knows I can get VIOLENT if I don't get IT... Y'all wish this man good luck

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