Saturday, February 13, 2010

St. Valentine's Day Massacre


My best friend has completely lost his effing mind because he will be without a Valentine for the first time. I guess he is afraid he will kill himself if left alone on this particular day, why, I'll NEVER know. He really could give two shits if the chick is there the morning of the 15th as long as he has SOMEONE on the 14th. I had to explain to him what most women go through... NOTHING because most women DON'T have Valentines. It's a day... the end. Generally it's a day where we eat everything in the house. Fall asleep with fast food in hand (one year I fell asleep with a chili dog) to some movie that we have seen 98 times. This year not only am I going to eat the red velvet cake, the gallon of ice cream, all the cheeto puffs but I'm also gonna eat the chocolate cover strawberries I got in the mail for Valentine's day... all while avoiding a stalker. Ladies and Gentlemen: THAT is a pretty girl's Valentine's Day, in true form of the holiday: A Massacre.

I really want to know why people think I just have a line of men camped out, sleeping in tents waiting to take me out. EVERYONE stares but nobody says anything. I got a compliment about two weeks ago and he had to say it 3 times for me to comprehend it... real sad ain't it.

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