Monday, January 11, 2010


"Yall might have a good time BUT we party HARDER"

This past weekend, I went to Vegas for my girl Eggy's Birthday (the one with the tiara). When I tell you we went in, honey, we went IN. We did Vegas RIGHT!!!! For starters we got a driver to drive us down there. Although for a minute we were afraid we were gonna get dropped off in the desert because he was being too friendly. Of course I called my cousin, the ninja swat cop from the 1st post, and in true fashion he sent me a text saying "U tell him ur cuzzin is a fuckin crazy swat cop and i will kill him slowly and watch him die if he harms u... then bury 1 of each of his body parts all over the united states." (DEAD SERIOUS, this is the text I got)

(She's spillin while she's sippin... I encourage you to try it!)

We get there safely and pull up to the Palms. Little did we know, the AVA's (Adult Video Awards) were happening that same weekend. So, when a group of chicks hop out a car with a driver to help them with their array of gucci, juicy, louis and coach duffles, they think we're coming to accept our awards!!! lol We finally figure out where our room is after looking like a bunch of ditzs. We get started on showers, hair and make up. During my down time I've called room service for everything under the sun from pregnancy tests & razors to an iron & a litter of semen. BOREDOM

We head down to meet our reservations at the restaurant and you wouldn't believe the comments we heard walking "Yes LORD" "Thank GOD" "Oh JESUS" "MMMMMM" "DESSERT is here" "Can I have you for dinner?" etc etc I thought I was walking through a church luncheon! Hit the restaurant, run up a heavy check, call our limo driver and slide to the Industry Opening Haze where Usher performed. Bypass the basic bitches and buy EIGHT bottles (there are only 6 of us). Drank til our liver cried. We brushed off a couple thirsty ass dudes tryna be down with the crew. Sorry, me and the people I came with are ALL too pretty for you! Back to the limo and back to the room. Room Service, ordered everything on the menu! Hungry Hoes! This is when the birthday girl told some broad on the phone "LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER. YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME!!!"

Next morning, room service AGAIN! Then off to the spa. I was too fucked up to go, so I just stayed back to try to sober up. Back to the room for more room service. Ordered more reckless shit from room service "hello? VEGAS?!?! Do you have a pitcher of lemonade, water, coke, semen, something like that?" Head to our reservation and order one of damn near everything. Call our rude ass limo driver who asks too many questions and got on our nerves the 1st night. Reckless ass birthday girl, goes in on him. Guess he was "nothing to her." We slide to the club, spend a couple grand on bottles and are too drunk to drink em. Had to start giving em away and packing em to-go. Back to the room for more room service and then upstairs to pack. We pass out, wake up to a call from the driver and back to LA.... easily spent 15k in 2 days... Naturally I'm leaving shit out because "What happens in Vegas..." (you know the rest) Happy
Birthday Eggy!!!! lol

(Open up... I know ya thirsty... say ahhhhhhhh)