Friday, December 4, 2009

Tiger... Tiger Woods yaaaaaall!!!

I said I was NOT gonna touch on this topic because sooooo many have BUT I have a few other opinions outside of what TIGER did. Let's talk about his wife & mistresses (yes, more than one)

First things first... Men cheat. It happens. Hell, women cheat. It happens. No need to bust out his window with HIS golf club. Make him pay privately at home. That way you can guilt him into a 4million dollar "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry, baby" ring and a Lambo rebuilt with an automatic engine.(Hey Vanessa, girl!) Like seriously, who do you marry after Tiger? You'll get money but you'll never get revenge so you might as well stay and fix your MARRIAGE. (Marriage takes different tolerances than "my boo" and "my baby")

Now for "Voicemail Hoe." Why would you blow up his whole spot?!?! Sooo money hungry for that quick million, she released his voicemail?!?! As the mistress you are guaranteed NOTHING! So if you are gonna play the role, PLAY THE ROLE! When Tiger called to tell her to change her voicemail she should have said "I'll change my NUMBER!" I'm sure she was well taken care of so why fuck it off? We're in a recession honey! You aren't getting 8 figure bookdeals! Sorry, "Voicemail Hoe" you lose... thanks for playing. (Shoutout to Nina for the quote)

And my fav... "Silent Hoe." This heffa right here hasn't said didly SQUAT. She is as quite as Chris Brown at a police questioning! Anddddd here's why: "I don't like to gossip so you ain't hear it from me" but she's a professional mistress. She's been linked to Tiger Woods, Derek Jeter and AROD MONEYYYYY Alex Rodriguez. Highest paid athlete (Tiger) and highest paid baseball player in history (Arod)?!?!?! When DEREK JETER is your "budget boo" you're doing alright. She's making Superhead's shenanigens look like child's play. So, "Silent Hoe" we see you boo! *ghetto voice* If you're gonna hoe, do it right!

Oh I forgot about "Tryna Get Some Shine Hoe".... she was a jump-off... No real attachment. She is just trying to get attention #killyourself

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